Well it's just been one slippery slope, probably since about January. I lost my mojo a bit, stopped going to class as the New Year resolution gang joined enmasse and class took forever...I mean forever!! Things cropped up socially and with the kids that stopped me going every other week. I started having a bit of this and a bit of that. I then started having more of this and lots more of that. I gained a little. I went on holiday to Tenerife a wee bit heavier than I was but still felt acceptable. Which brings me to round about April time. I work in a school and April to July is the busiest term ever. It was s#?t! I was stressed. Mega stressed. I'm not sure if I was consciously over eating on junk but I know that stress causes weight gain due to a hormone it triggers. The rest is just a downward spiral from that moment on.
I have tried several times to get myself back into slimming world. I know how it works. I know the plan. I have the books...I start off my day well but by evening it's all been sabotaged by eating crisps, a biscuit, sometimes chocolate, maybe a sandwich thrown in there and possibly more crisps!!!
Why oh why?! I hate the weight I am. I hate how I look and yet it doesn't seem to be enough. It's got to come from within and I just don't know or understand why I am doing it to myself because I end up every night feeling grumpy and frustrated with myself for not sticking to it, vowing that tomorrow I'll be better...and the wheel just seems to go round and round!!
I buy jeans that fit...and then another size smaller for when I can fit into them. I have heaps of smaller clothes with labels still on them! Even that doesn't seem to be incentive enough. It's the wrong kind of pounds I'm losing!
So browsing through my kindle and I find this book. A comedy about a couple trying to lose a bumper amount of weight in a competition to try and win the big cash prize of £50,000 and all the ups and downs of trying to lose weight.
I'm hoping that I can relate to the problems they encounter...and hopefully get some motivation back!!
Failing that....I think it's wired jaws and a zip!!